IFS Therapy — Elizabeth Harding, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

What Is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-informed model of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1990s. It begins with a simple but transformative premise: the human mind is not a single unified voice. It is a system of sub-personalities, or "parts," each carrying its own perspective, history, and emotional role.

Some parts carry pain (shame, grief, fear), often from earlier experiences that were too overwhelming to process at the time. Other parts develop to protect those wounded places: they keep us busy, keep us defended, keep the pain at a safe distance. When we are triggered, angry, shut down, or stuck in patterns we cannot explain, we are often experiencing a part taking over.

Beneath all of these parts, IFS identifies what Schwartz calls the Self, a stable, curious, compassionate core that is always present, even when it feels completely out of reach. The goal of IFS therapy is not to eliminate difficult parts, but to help them relax enough that the Self can lead, creating internal harmony rather than internal war.

Understanding Internal Family Systems therapy, parts and Self model

What Is IFS Therapy Used to Treat?

IFS has a broad application base and is used effectively to address:

Anxiety and panic Including generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and health anxiety driven by protective parts in overdrive
Trauma and PTSD Including complex developmental trauma where multiple parts carry fragmented memory and affect
Depression Particularly when depression involves pervasive self-criticism, worthlessness, or emotional numbness held by specific parts
Relationship difficulties Including recurring conflict patterns, attachment anxiety or avoidance, and difficulty trusting others
Grief and loss Working with parts carrying unprocessed sorrow, guilt, or complicated feelings about loss
Perfectionism and self-criticism Understanding the protective intention behind your inner critic rather than simply trying to silence it
Eating and body image concerns Addressing the parts that use food, restriction, or body-focused criticism as protective strategies
Life transitions Navigating major changes (career, parenthood, divorce, identity) when different parts have strongly conflicting responses

One of the most consistent observations in IFS work is that clients often arrive having tried to fight, ignore, or manage their difficult thoughts and feelings for years, and feel exhausted by that effort. IFS offers something different: instead of fighting your inner experience, we get curious about it.

The 6 Steps of IFS Therapy

IFS therapy follows a structured sequence that helps clients move safely from the surface of their experience into its roots:

Find a part Notice a difficult feeling, thought, belief, or body sensation that is present right now. This might be tension, anxiety, a critical voice, or a familiar sense of dread.
Focus on the part Bring gentle attention to it. Where do you feel it in your body? What does it look like? What does it seem to want?
Flesh it out Allow the part to reveal more of itself: its age, its role, how long it has been there, what it is protecting.
Feel toward it Notice how you feel toward this part. Curiosity and openness are signs that Self is present. Judgment or fear toward the part suggests another part may be blending.
BeFriend the part Begin building a relationship. The part is not the enemy. Ask what it needs. Let it know it has been seen.
Fear: what is it afraid of? Ask the part what it is most afraid would happen if it relaxed. This question usually opens the door to the deeper protective logic that has kept the part in its role.

This sequence is not a rigid checklist. It is a relational process. Some sessions move through all six steps. Others stay in deep contact with a single part for the entire hour. The work is paced by what is actually present, not by a predetermined agenda.

The 8 C's of Self in IFS Therapy

Dr. Schwartz identified eight qualities that characterize the Self, the stable core that IFS therapy helps you access and lead from. When these qualities are present, clients often describe it as feeling more grounded, more like themselves, more able to handle difficulty without being consumed by it.

Curiosity

Genuine interest in your inner world, without judgment

Calm

A settled, steady baseline that does not require the absence of difficulty

Clarity

Clear perception of what is actually happening, internally and externally

Compassion

Warmth toward your own pain and the pain of others

Confidence

Trust in your own capacity to handle what arises

Courage

Willingness to turn toward difficult feelings and memories

Creativity

Flexible, generative thinking that finds new paths through old problems

Connectedness

A sense of belonging to yourself, to others, and to something larger

Many clients have spent years believing they were fundamentally flawed, damaged, or incapable of change. Experiencing these qualities, even briefly, even partially, is often the first evidence they have had that something undamaged exists inside them. That is not a small thing.

What Does an IFS Therapy Session Look Like?

IFS sessions at my Petaluma office are conversational but intentionally inward-focused. Rather than primarily talking about your life, we spend much of the session noticing what is happening inside, tracking thoughts, feelings, sensations, and images as they arise in real time.

What to Expect When Starting

Your first one to two sessions will be primarily intake and orientation. I want to understand what brings you to therapy, what has and has not helped before, and what you are hoping for. I will also explain the IFS model in plain language. You do not need to know anything about IFS before we begin. Curiosity is the only prerequisite.

Once we begin the actual parts work, sessions typically follow a similar rhythm: we start with a brief check-in, identify what is most present for you today, and then turn attention inward together. I will ask questions, offer observations, and occasionally invite you to try speaking to a part rather than simply about it.

Many clients notice changes outside of session, a moment where the critical voice was less automatic, a situation that used to trigger shutdown but felt more manageable. IFS works between sessions as well as during them.

What to expect during an IFS therapy session in Petaluma with Elizabeth Harding, LMFT

IFS Therapy in Petaluma, CA

My office is located at 7 4th Street, Suite 3, in downtown Petaluma, a short walk from the river district and easily accessible from Rohnert Park, Cotati, Novato, and Santa Rosa. I offer both in-person and telehealth sessions, so if you are in the broader Sonoma or Marin County area and cannot make it to Petaluma, we can still work together.

The Petaluma community has a rich culture of wellness, creativity, and intentional living, and I find that IFS fits that ethos well. It is a thoughtful, non-pathologizing approach that treats people as internally complex rather than diagnostically categorized. Whether you are a long-term Petaluma resident or recently arrived, if you are looking for IFS therapy in Sonoma County, I would welcome the conversation.

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Frequently Asked Questions About IFS Therapy

IFS has a growing research base and is listed in the SAMHSA National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices. Research supports its effectiveness for conditions including PTSD, depression, and physical health outcomes. It is also supported by an active clinical research community studying its mechanisms and applications.

This varies considerably. Some clients notice meaningful shifts within the first few sessions, particularly when they encounter the 8 C's of Self for the first time. Deeper trauma work typically unfolds over months rather than weeks. IFS is not a quick-fix model. It is a relationship-based process that tends to be more durable for that reason.

IFS differs from CBT in that it does not try to challenge or change thoughts directly. Instead, it works with the part that holds those thoughts, which tends to create more lasting change. It differs from psychodynamic therapy in its explicit multiplicity framework, where the parts model is central, not incidental. It differs from somatic approaches in its primary focus on internal dialogue, though body awareness is integrated throughout.

No. I will orient you to the model as we go. Many clients find that their existing self-understanding maps naturally onto IFS concepts. The language is often more intuitive than clinical frameworks.

Yes. Anxiety in IFS is understood as a protective part, usually one that is working very hard to prevent something bad from happening. When we get curious about that part rather than trying to suppress or override it, the anxiety often becomes less overwhelming. We are working with the part, not against it.

Elizabeth Harding, LMFT, IFS therapist in Petaluma, California

If you are feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure of your next step, you do not have to figure it out alone. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in downtown Petaluma, California, working with teens, adults, and couples. I offer both in-person and telehealth sessions throughout California. My approach draws from Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems, and the Gottman Method, and I tailor my work to each client's unique needs and goals. I offer evening sessions and a free consultation to explore whether we are a good fit.